Sanity-Saving Discipline - Part 2

In the first post in this series, I explained our family's House Rules and provided a link to them. Now let me share how we use our Daily Consequence Chart (not-so-affectionately known as "The Chart" in our house).

Our chart is an adaptation of a nicely laminated If/Then Chart I purchased from Titus2.com a couple of years ago. For our family, several changes were necessary, and you can click here to see what we use.

On our chart, HR stands for House Rule, so it is referring to the our family's House Rules sheet. Each child has their own vinyl folder that holds everything they need to complete consequences that require writing. It actually has a page protector front and back, so I have a copy of "the chart" in the front pocket and a copy of the House Rules in the back pocket for easy reference.

This is by far the best discipline tool that I have ever used. It aligns specific misbehaviors to scripture, states clear consequences, and provides a space to place the child's initial under the day of the week. Here's how I use it:

1. I run a copy (I run it on the reverse side also, making one sheet last two weeks).

2. I post it on the refrigerator.

3. As a misbehavior occurs, I tell the offender to meet me at the chart. There, I remind them of the scripture that applies and mark their initial beside it, under the appropriate day of the week.

3. I administer the first consequence.

4. For each recurring offense, I mark the chart and move to the next consequence.

Sometimes extenuating factors (being sick, tired, hungry, angry, etc.) lead to a rash of bad behavior. During those times, it's be best to put the chart aside and regroup. Still, I can hardly describe how much this tool has benefitted both me and my children in dealing with poor behavior!

Sanity-Saving Discipline: Part 1

In my early years of elementary school, I dreaded giving my report card to my mother. It wasn't because my grades were bad. In fact, they were usually very good. No, my concern was a single line in the "Behavior Comments" section: Controls unnecessary talking. Unfortunately, it was almost always marked N (Needs Improvement) or the dreaded U ( UNSATISFACTORY).

Years down the road, after many conferences in which my mother was "informed" of my talking problem, she resolved herself to the idea that it might actually be a positive trait...a leadership trait! She still expected me to try to control it, but her new perspective certainly blessed me on report card days. As might be expected, I too have been blessed with children who display "leadership traits."

As moms, one of our primary goals is to see our children mature into self-controlled, respectful and responsible adults, yet we are not always aware of the best ways by which to accomplish that goal. To that end,  I spent a great deal of time looking for information and resources that would work for our family. I'd like to share with you the system that we've developed as a compilation of what I found in my search. We've been using it for the past couple of years, and I have observed marked improvements in my children's self-discipline, respect and sense of responsibility. Our "discipline stool" is supported by three "legs:"

1. House Rules

2. The Daily Consequence Chart

3. 5 Stars

HOUSE RULES
The premise behind the concept of House Rules is that you need a standard by which to judge behaviors, providing consistency for the child and preventing arguments about what is allowed and what is not. 

Basically, it's a short list of rules that you believe to be essential. After days of copying from those available on the internet, pasting, rewording, shortening, expanding, etc., I formed our family's House Rules. You're welcome to click here to load a document format, but the following image will probably serve you just as well, as you'll probably rewrite your own. Please pardon the plain language used to describe unsavory behaviors...flatulate is not yet in my children's vocabulary ;)

My Generous Mailbox

Sometimes my mailbox surprises me with little containers of baby wipes, shampoo, lotion, toothpaste and other things. Though the childlike excitement I experience upon discovering those little goodies is fun, that's not the only reason I request free samples. They also...

1. allow you to sample a product before you purchase it (obviously)

2. often are accompanied by high value coupons

3. are the perfect size with which to stuff stockings

4. are the perfect size to keep in your purse or desk drawer

5. might be something that could be placed in your church's care packages or Operation Christmas Child box

To simplify ordering, I've bookmarked a few favorite sources for free samples in a "Daily Freebies" folder in my Favorites tab. I am ULTRA conservative about which sites I even entertain as being reputable. My litmus test is as follows...

1. If I've never heard of the organization/company/site, FORGET IT!

2. Even if I've heard of them, if they do not have a close tie to the organization which manufactures the product (ex. carries the line in its stores), FORGET IT!

3. I always keep an eye on the address bar to make certain I haven't been derailed and taken to a strange website without my knowing it.

To protect myself further, I have a separate email account that I use with "strangers." This is the email I use if I'm the least bit worried that they'll contact me more than I care to be contacted ;) That way they're not clogging up my main email account.

So which ones do I visit? Glad to share! (Click to visit the site)

Wal-Mart

Target

All You Magazine

Occasionally, these sites run a little dry and repeat offers. If I've already taken advantage of an offer, I feel morally bound to refrain from re-requesting (I know, that's one right out of my own personal dictionary). Luke 12:15 Then he said to them, "Watch out! Be on your guard against all kinds of greed; life does not consist in an abundance of possessions."   Greed is sin, and we can't expect to prosper by sinning. Also, it would serve us well to remember the intent behind the companies' generosity: to let each potential customer sample it and then, hopefully, continue to purchase it and spread the word.

I hope you enjoy requesting and receiving samples. Let me know if your mailbox suddenly becomes generous!